Vincent's Yellow

a[n] [auto]biography and a love story.

New Necklace/New Beginning

The first time my golden starry book locket broke was when I was traveling in Europe, just upon arriving in Paris. I had just been talking for an hour with a stranger with whom later I would regret sharing time. In retrospect, I think it was an omen.

As I leaned down to pick up my backpack in that fateful moment, the long chain looped around an armrest and when I stood up — crack — it fell lifeless into my hand, nearby a ziperred pocket with its name on it. Because I was in a rush to get off the train, and because there was really nothing else to do, I slid the broken necklace into that pocket and never uttered a word. A small gasp escaped my lips, but the broken talisman was carried silently in my heart for the rest of that day… as though I didn’t want to admit it happened. Looking at it that night in the hostel, it was only the clasp that broke, which was easily fixed with tweezers. Sigh of relief. That was August 2009, the month of YellowEurope, also the month I decided to start wearing the locket every day, even to sleep. Sometimes I awoke wearing its imprint.

wearing the necklace in Amsterdam, photography by Timothy Caldwell

The next time was August 2010, during the run of the show. The next three times, actually. First, the clasp broke again, but this time for good. I bought a new clasp two weeks later, which then broke after a few days. A third clasp was bought, and then the chain itself broke. I knew then that I had to buy a new chain. But how? What kind? Where?

I started looking for the locket in the first place on an enormous hunch, not really knowing what I wanted or what I would put in it. I just kept looking until I found the right one in a tiny second-hand store in the East Village in New York City. Actually, my friend discovered it.

So shopping for a new chain was bizarre. Again, I didn’t know what I wanted. It so happened that I had a trip planned to New York City in October for other reasons, and decided to go to that store again, with the same friend. As destiny would have it, I found the perfect chain again – though it’s different. Incredibly, the name of that store is “A Repeat Performance.” I never noticed it’s name before.

thanks to

I told the woman that I had returned nearly two years later to find a new chain, and showed her the locket I had been carrying around in my purse for over a month. She smiled and said “Oh yes, I remember that piece.”

I think it would be difficult to forget. Now I’m wearing the new one all the time. It tends to twist like a ribbon, and needs untwisting. I don’t mind at all. It feels good to have Vincent’s colors back around my neck.

photography by Timothy Caldwell


Haven’t started on the book yet. Will soon. It’ll be more a labor of organization, editing, and choreography than writing. But I’m excited. I even set myself a schedule. Wednesday & Thursday mornings, and Sunday day, all for Vincent.

Now I’ve just gotta start printing and buy some two-sided tape. (Vincent’s Yellow in paper form is a kind of scrapbook/travelogue)

Tue, December 14 2010 » Personal

One Response

  1. vanrijngo September 12 2011 @ 12:48

    That is one beautiful necklace on you girl. I know how much Vincent means to you, because he touches and had touched so many that way with his art. I loved that little video you had made while visiting Vincent’s house across from Margarete’s with that little path by his house in the rain.

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