Vincent's Yellow

a[n] [auto]biography and a love story.

My last day

I am back at home today, back at my desk and in my familiar room, bedecked with pictures from old Van Gogh calenders, and then some works of my own. My trip is over and it will take me a long time to process the 26 days I spent with you, Vincent. I also have 140 pages of writing and literally thousands of photos to peruse. My plan is that every Monday, I will share more from my photos here.

Amsterdam sky with tree

My last day in Amsterdam was not one I had ┬áplanned, but things had arranged themselves so that’s where I would be on Saturday. Once I actually arrived, I discovered with joy that I had the luxury of one extra day at the Van Gogh Museum, to take my time and simply enjoy myself. I also accepted the inspiration that it eventually provided, but I felt no pressure, I had already written everything necessary down. I had the unique experience of recognizing the landscapes you painted, because I had been there myself. I know you now in a way I never could before.

On that particular day the sky was something amazing, and I took a very long walk in the morning, as you would often do. A strong wind, exquisite cumulus clouds, and small scattered rain clouds created a day that was sensitive and mercurial. It also made the sky pretty damn beautiful. I sat outside enjoying it for an hour before I entered the museum. I felt again that it was a gift for me, and realized how united I have felt with nature throughout this journey, how much you have spoken and still speak to me through a breeze, a ray of light, or a flock of birds.

As I gazed at the sky, listening to nature’s responses to my thoughts, I noticed how I never feel alone anymore. I also realized that I truly believe in something, for the first time in a long time. Call it what you like, I’m not sure that really matters much to me anymore, but something or someone is with me. I feel an immense support, and I know that I have chosen the right path.

I couldn’t have come home feeling happier or fuller, and today especially, on my birthday.

Am sky 1

Am sky 2

Am sky last

Mon, August 31 2009 » Personal, Travel

2 Responses

  1. Timmy Caldwell August 31 2009 @ 16:05

    My first reaction to this is awe. You seem to have found the seat of inspiration.

  2. Kathryn September 4 2009 @ 17:35

    There are some things that don’t need a body or time. I am altogether reluctant to name “it” but your sensing is working. No, you most certainly are not alone. Not ever. And I meant that in the most wonderful way.

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